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Welcome to the 5th edition of my Newsletter.
This month the focus is on internal conflict and the 'should' conundrum. When you get to the bottom, you will find my top tips on what to do if you find yourself in that space.
The 'Should' Conundrum
August is a funny month - when you factor in school holidays it turns the month upside down and routine and structure go out of the window - I have really struggled with that this year.
I have found myself to-ing and fro-ing with this internal conflict of what I 'should' be doing vs what I 'want' to do.
During the school holidays and with me being self employed, I felt that I shouldn't book my son (Jack - 7) into holiday club as I am at home and can look after him. So apart from 1 day a week (where he was at his Nanny and Grandad's) I have struggled with this feeling that I 'should' be spending time with my son and not working. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Jack, I love him to bits and find great joy in spending time with him, but 'he' is not my purpose. Now this might not sit well with some people, and believe me it has taken a lot of soul searching, and letting go of feelings of guilt and shame to get here, but my son is not my 'sole purpose' for living.
I love the work I do, and over the month of August it has become very apparent to me that my passion for helping people to understand themselves, feel valued, seen and heard, is 'my purpose' and it has really affected me not talking to people about how I can help them in their teams and business.
I have struggled intermittently with the guilt of wanting to work at times instead of wanting to spend that time with Jack and as a consequence I have felt emotional, down and just generally not my happy-go-lucky self throughout this month.
How does that resonate with you ?
Do you feel the internal conflict between what you think you 'should' be doing and what you 'want' to do?
Scroll down to see my top tips for overcoming the 'should' conundrum including using Insights Discovery to understand your natural tendences and preferences.
So, what have I been up to in August?
In the same month that Numerous world records and Olympic records were set in various events at the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris (you can see more detail through the link) and we celebrated a day dedicated to Left Handers
I have not been very busy at all (from a work perspective).
August started for me with a 5 day break to Hafan-y-Mor with 8 people (including 3 almost teenagers) in a 6-8 berth caravan. As you can imagine, I needed a holiday when we got back. Being in such a small space with 7 other people and with having a preference for introversion, I didn't have the time or space needed to de-compress. So when I got home I was exhausted and needed a day or two of introspection to recover.
Do you know if you have a preference for introversion or extroversion ?
Take my free e-learning course (link at the bottom of the page) to find out!
In the couple of days I did work I spent time designing a bespoke 'team effectiveness' course for one of my lovely clients which I had the pleasure of delivering to them at the end the August.
I was delighted to receive this amazing feedback after our first session of working together
"Working with Philippa has opened my eyes to other sides of management.
She is professional, encouraging and really cares about what she does to add value to workplace situations. I can't recommend her enough, it's not always about cost savings in a business, providing quality information can also drive profit. And having a team that is consistent, loyal and work as a team is a driver for this."
Gemma Wray - Financial Director Stretton Capital
Top Tip
5 strategies to overcome the 'should' conundrum
Examine Your Values - What really matters to you and why do you feel like you 'should' be doing something?. Its OK if it doesn't fit with the norm. We are all different and have different values. Understanding your core values can help re-align your goals with your authentic self.
Set Realistic Goals - Break down larger goals in to smaller realistic goals and tasks, ensure your goals are aligned with your values
Challenge Negative Self-Talk - We all do it sometimes, but why not question the validity of your 'should' statements. Are they realistic? Do they serve you?
Prioritise Self-Compassion - Be kind to yourself, its OK to have different priorities or different wants and needs.
Seek Support - Sometimes it can help to talk to someone else to help you to work through the internal conflicts and develop healthier perspectives.
You can also use Insights Discovery to understand your natural tendencies and preferences, then you can address the “should” conundrum in a way that aligns with your personality and leads to a more fulfilling and manageable approach to meeting your goals.
You can access my free e-learning course that dips a toe in to Insights Discovery here
If you are interested in learning more about yourself and your behavioural preferences, just drop me a reply to this e-mail.
I also offer small to medium businesses a 30min free no obligation discovery call to understand more about the challenges they face in relation to team communication, collaboration and performance. You can book a consultation here
I hope you have enjoyed my 5th edition
You will notice I have only got a link to my 1 of my August posts this time, but if you would like to see more click here
I would love to hear your thoughts and if you would like to share them then just reply to this e-mail.
Take care out there and have a great day
Philippa