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N is for Needs Made Visible and Normal
- Jul 20
- 4 min read
Welcome! This article is part of an A–Z series where I’m sharing reflections on the patterns I keep seeing in teams, leadership and workplace culture.
Not theory. Not tips. Just observations from real working life.
One of the biggest patterns I've noticed throughout my work is how often people expect others to instinctively know what they need. We assume our manager will recognise when we're overwhelmed, that our colleagues will understand we need a little more thinking time, or that someone will notice when we're quietly struggling. It feels like these things should be obvious, but the reality is that most of us aren't mind readers.
Although every organisation is different, the challenge is remarkably similar - People genuinely care about doing a good job and supporting one another, yet they're often working with unspoken expectations. When those expectations aren't met, frustration builds, relationships become strained, and people begin making assumptions about each other's intentions.
What's interesting is that this rarely comes from a lack of kindness. More often, it comes from a lack of conversation.
We're very good at talking about targets, deadlines and performance, but far less comfortable talking about what actually helps us thrive at work. Imagine how different our workplaces could feel if we regularly asked questions like:
What helps you do your best work?
What drains your energy?
How do you prefer to receive feedback?
What support do you need when you're under pressure?
How can I help you succeed?
These conversations might sound simple, but they have the power to transform how people work together. When we understand what someone needs, we stop filling in the gaps with assumptions. We become more patient, more curious and, ultimately, more supportive.
The evidence suggests this matters more than ever. According to the CIPD Good Work Index, around one in four UK employees experienced workplace conflict during the previous year - equivalent to around eight million people. Many chose not to address the issue at all, instead deciding to "let it go", allowing misunderstandings and frustrations to quietly grow over time. Unsurprisingly, those who experienced conflict were also far more likely to report feeling exhausted, under pressure and that work was negatively affecting their well-being.
While conflict has many causes, I've often found that a surprising amount begins with people simply not understanding what one another needs.
One of my favourite exercises during an Insights Discovery session asks everyone to complete a single sentence:
"You'll get the best from me when…"
The responses are always wonderfully honest.
"...when I have time to think before responding."
"...when I understand the bigger picture."
"...when feedback is clear and honest."
"...when I'm trusted rather than constantly checked."
"...when people ask instead of assuming."
The atmosphere in the room often changes almost immediately. People stop interpreting behaviours as personality flaws and begin seeing the needs behind them. The colleague who seemed distant simply needs quiet thinking time. The manager who asks endless questions isn't trying to catch people out - they're reducing uncertainty. The teammate who always wants to move quickly isn't being impatient; they're energised by pace and action.
Nothing about those individuals has changed. The difference is that their needs have become visible.
For me, that's where the real value of Insights Discovery lies. It gives people a language to explain how they work best, making conversations that once felt awkward feel entirely normal. Instead of expecting others to guess, people begin sharing what helps them succeed, whether that's having time to reflect, receiving regular feedback, understanding the bigger picture or simply knowing they're trusted.
I also believe this is one of the greatest gifts leaders can give their teams. Creating an environment where it's perfectly acceptable to say:
"I need a little more time to think this through."
"It helps me if we agree expectations upfront."
"I work best when I understand the reason behind the decision."
"I'd really appreciate feedback while the project is still live."
These aren't demands or excuses. They're simply honest conversations that allow people to do their best work.
The healthiest workplaces I've seen aren't the ones without pressure or deadlines. They're the ones where people don't feel they have to hide what they need in order to be seen as capable. They ask for support without embarrassment, offer help without judgement, and recognise that everyone works differently.
When needs become visible, they also become normal. And once that happens, teams spend far less time second-guessing one another and far more time building trust, strengthening relationships and achieving great results together.
Sometimes the most powerful shift in a team doesn't come from changing people at all. It comes from giving them permission to have the conversations they've never had before.
If this resonated, it’s probably because you’re seeing it too.
Philippa x
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